he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
