just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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