he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
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we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
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I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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