I'm eating all of the evidence.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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