I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
