I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
