a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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