Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
