lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
