real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
