I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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