Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize