Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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