Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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