Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize