the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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