I wish my penis had an off switch
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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