I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
