is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
last night I used snow as a chaser
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
