I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
