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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud

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• (925): View more from California

  his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night

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• (940): View more from Texas

  I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.

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• (951): View more from California

  We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.

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• (212): View more from New York

  We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not

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• (631): View more from New York

  You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.

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• (845): View more from New York

  random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.

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