he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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