I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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