We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize