The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
