then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
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I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
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You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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