that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
