Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
