You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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