I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
