she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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