thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
