butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
