she was so not down for the gang bang
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
