mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
