Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
