Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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