remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
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