My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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