I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
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You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
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We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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