apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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