Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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