I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
