I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
