Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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