their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
