Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
meet me or not, i'm out of control
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
