I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Randomize
