the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
