I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
