You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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