I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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