Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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