Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
