Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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