Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I fill condoms, not promises.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
