Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you will always have a special place in my vag
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
