I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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