i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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