you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
