You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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