i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
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I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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