If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
