We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
