So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
