She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Randomize
