She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize