To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
