Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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